Fallout

When we first met, we were both stranger in a new city. Grieving for home. For everything, everyone left behind. But there was something in you. Your smile. Your eyes. Or maybe you reminded me too much of her. We grew closer, as if gravity pulling. I was a black hole. Unable to let go. Of the past. Of myself. But what I didn’t knew, my darling, is you were a black hole too. And, sure there was strong attraction. But when 2 black holes collide, destruction follows. In the end, it was an endless spiral of revenge, jealousy, hate. A beautiful rose shriveled. In the end, time seperated us. You in your own destiny. I on mine. And now. Seeing your pictures. Asking our friends how you’ve grown. Maybe you healed. Maybe you found the right one. Maybe your still looking. There is only one thing I still wish. For you to be happy. I was a fool, but so were we all. Drunk in the heady hormones of youth. In the moment. Short sighted. Even now, some nights, You visit me. In my nightmares. Every time I look in the mirror. You stare back. Reminding me. Of all the mistakes I made. You were my favorite. You taught me how to string words into a necklace of verse. How to turn cold metal wires into warm sunlight. How to look at myself, not with hate, but with admiration. But the most valuable lesson you ever taught. Was how not to love another soul. They say a wise man learns from a fool’s mistake. Thank you for making me wiser. I know you’ll never understand the words I write. Or what goes on inside this mind. And I was ready to compromise. Only to have you abandon my side when I needed You most. Whats the use of lighting a candle in day? If you are reading this, forgive me. For all the wrong I did to you. Forgive me. For failing to keep my promises. Forgive me. For never being good enough. For you. And thank you. Because every word I write in your memory. Heals my soul. Bit by bit. And one day. I’ll find someone. Who will see the madness in full glory. And will dive in the blink of an eye. Who won’t be talking about how I get scared. But join me, hiding under the bed. Some who understands me. Because thats all we want. A person who understands our crazy, our scars, but still kiss them. And thats all i want for you too. To find your crazy. We are all a bunch of crazy people. Looking for someone to match our crazy. Like interference of light waves. Constructive. Or destructive. Its 2 AM now, and our memories still haunt me. You may have left the city, but your memories never. And me. Survivour of a fallout. Stranger in our home.