Asphodel

” Are you sure you want this? ” I asked nervously, gripping the handle. She nodded. Lilly looked at me, her face red. The sun cast an orange hue. I started jogging, pushing her wheelchair in the park. The wheels squeaked and I could feel the wind rushing by my ears. Lilly held on to the armrest, tightly. I could see her hands turning red. Still I didn’t stop. I kept running, pushing her along. She closed her eyes, screaming. People were giving weird looks at us but I didn’t care. And I knew neither did she. All we cared was going faster. I felt as if I could fly somewhere high, fly away from this place, this college, with Lilly. Where she didn’t have to live her life confined in a wheelchair. Where she could fly, untethered.

I met Lilly in second year of my college. I’d moved to the city to study marine biology. She was from the city and studied art. When she was 5 years old, a car accident took away her parents, her brother and left her paralyzed below the waist. Her uncle and aunt, having no children of their own, took her in as their own daughter.

I noticed Lilly back in first day of college, during orientation. She was hard to miss. She always found the most eccentric clothes  to wear. Oh and she also was in a wheelchair. But we never met till one day in second year, she ran over my foot one morning. She later explained she was late for class. Despite the initial shouting match, we became friends. Which worked out fine because neither one of us had many friends, on the account of both of us being outsiders, in a way.

“Well that was scary! ” She exclaimed. I nodded, wheezing. I wasn’t particularly obese but I was out of shape and having just pushed a 50 kilo girl on a wheelchair over a hill. I lay down on the grass, letting the cool breeze blow over my face. “Round two? ” She asked. I shook my head. She got down beside me. “I got some water” She said, pulling our a water bottle from her bag. Before I could react, she poured the bottle on my face. “What the — ” I shot up, spluttering and gasping for air, coughing. “You waterboarded me” Lilly laughed. “I thought it might help you cool down. ” I grabbed the bottle from her hand. “Alright, enough, let’s get you home. It’s already dark”

I was pushing her quietly, listening to her, watching put shadows. She was talking about this new Turkish drama she started watching. She liked to tell me everything on her mind. I liked to listen. Between us, we made a good pair. “Oh hold up” I stopped, interrupting her. “I need to fasten my laces, wait. ” “There’s an ice cream place down the road. I’ll Get us a couple of orange dollies. ” She said. I nodded. I knelt down tying my shoelace.

When I got to the ice cream place I found Lilly holding two orange dollies, both melting down on her. “It’s melting! ” She yelled. I laughed, grabbing mine. “Let’s go.” I said, pushing her along. Just then her wheelchair bumped on a rock and the shock made her drop her ice cream. She stopped, looking mournfully at me. I sighed. “Alright, stay here, I’ll get a couple more. ” She nodded. “Here, you can have mine if you want” I said, handing her my dolly. She nodded. “Just hurry”

I quickly grabbed the ice cream and went off jogging to where I left her. To my horror, I couldn’t find her. “Lilly! ” I shouted, panicking. “Ark!  Help! ” I heard her voice. Dropping the ice creams, I ran after her voice. “Lilly! ” I shouted. I found her in the middle of the road, her wheel stuck on a rain gutter. I ran towards her. The road was clear but I needed to get her out of there nonetheless. I tugged and pushed with all my strength. A car passed by. I waved my hands but it didn’t stop. “What the hell are you doing in the middle of the road! ” “It was an accident, okay! Now help me out! ” “It’s no use. Hold on! ” I grabbed her and lifted her out of the wheelchair. “What are you doing! ” She screamed. “Getting. You. Out. ” I spluttered. She wrapped her arms around me and I lifted her out, carrying her away from the cursed wheelchair. I lunged away from the road, to the sidewalk.

“Stay here! I’ll be back” I said, setting her down on the sidewalk. She grabbed my jacket. “Where are you going ? ” She asked, panicking. Just then, a single raindrop fell on the tip of her nose. Her face was twisted with panic, her eyes frightened in the rain. I gently cupped her cheeks. For a moment, everything felt fine. Time slowed down. I could feel rain drops gently falling all around us. Just then a car passed by honking, dragging me back to reality. I ripped her hands from my jacket and ran to get her wheelchair. The road was already wet and glistening. I felt my feet slipping. I made my way to the wheelchair. Good thing she got stuck on a less busy street. I knelt down, grabbing the part of the wheel stuck in the grate. I squeezed the rubber, tugging and pulling as hard as I can. Just like that, the wheels unstuck. I grabbed the wheelchair and rushed back to the sidewalk.

The rain had us completely drenched. I was walking along with her, in silence. “There was a cat.” She said quietly. “She seemed friendly, so I followed her and-” I rested my hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright Lil.” I laughed. That was so completely like her. Lilly loved cats. “But you could have gotten hurt” She said stopping. She turned to look up at me. “Ark” She put her hand on mine. “What if you gotten hurt?” “I’m invincible, don’t worry.” I laughed it off. “But what if. What if a car had come on that side? What if something bad happened? I don’t anyone else to get hurt because of my stupidity! ” “Hey hey, I wasn’t hurt, right? It’s not your fault. Come on, let’s get you home. “

“Do you wanna come over? Wait for the rain to stop? ” We were standing at her door. “My uncle has some clothes you can borrow. ” I shook my head. “You’d probably peek on me changing. I won’t feel comfortable with you being a perv.” “The only perv here is you, when you’re with Cynthia. Staring at hear! ” “Hey that was one time! And I wasn’t looking, I was spacing out! ” Lilly laughed. “Yeah right, come on, I don’t want you to catch pneumonia. ” We headed in her building. I knocked on her door. No one answered. “You sure your aunt’s in right now? ” She nodded. I knocked again. No answer. I pushed the door slightly. It was dark inside. I looked at Lilly. “Stay here. Call the cops at my signal. ” She nodded. I stepped in. The living room was empty. “Aunt Carol! You here? ” I called out. No answer. Just then I felt a cold metal blade pushed against my throat. “Make a sound and you’re dead! ” I heard a hoarse whisper. I turned my head to see a man, a little older than me,  holding a knife. My mind froze. “You’re gonna do as I say. Do you understand?” I nodded. “Where’s the girl? ” He asked, looking behind me. “Wha- what girl? ” I stammered. The man pressed the blade against my skin. I could feel the cold metal digging into my skin. “Don’t make me ask again. “

“Stop! Who the hell are you? ” I heard Lilly’s voice. I turned to look at her. “Who the hell are you, threatening him in my house? The cops are already on their way! ” The man froze. The knife dropped from his hand. Instinctively, I leapt away. “So. It’s really you. ” The man said, stepping towards Lilly. But she didn’t back away. She had guts, that Lilly. “Lilly, don’t! ” I shouted. “You have no idea who I am, do you? ” The man said, softly. Lilly shook her head. “I thought you were dead. But it’s really you. Thank god” The man sighed. “I’m Peter. Your brother. “

[Author’s note: Asphodel means a type of Lilly, which, in the Victorian Language of Flowers, means, my regrets follow you to the grave.]